We are encouraged to set an intention for each ceremony, something we want to learn about ourselves, pain we wish to release and heal, or anything we wish to receive an insight into. I have come on this healing journey with many intentions (and in need of much healing!).
I believe that we get the most out of healing journeys if some preliminary self-examination has been done to help reveal the true cause of any pain, suffering or confusion. Some of my friends already know that I suffer with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and anxiety. I have come to see that the experience of anxiety appears to be most strongly linked to stress within certain relationships. Unfortunately anxiety can make relationships and situations appear worse than they are and cloud the mind so that decisiveness and action can be elusive. At this point, I can see that I have some pain and confusion within my relationship with my partner and although I wish to take our relationship to a deeper level I find there is something blocking this, some fear. I wish for physical healing of the injury and pain in my back, following a serious car accident ten months ago that injured my sacrum, pelvis and back. I wish to be free of IBS and anxiety. And of course, I want to know what to do next in order to continue to serve the Earth, my fellow man and myself.
Not much to ask is it? The thing is; I have been asking myself these questions for years and attempted to sort things out, get on with life and be happy. It kind of worked, however, I no longer wish to just ‘get on with life’, I now wish to go deeply into my past, myself and learn the lessons that life bestows upon us and grow. So now I turn to this ancient healing tradition in the Amazon and the wisdom of Ayahuasca. We are informed that the plant Ayahuasca and indeed all plants have a plant spirit and that during the ceremony the spirit of Ayahuasca will communicate with us, connect with us and show us what we need to see. Many see the spirit of Ayahuasca as the Earth Mother, the Divine Feminine, the Great Grandmother.
I believed before it began. But, I didn't need to. The first night literally blew my mind. All preconceived realities and boundaries of conceptual thought were erased and expanded. Here is my experience from the first of seven ceremonies:
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| The Maloka at night |
We enter the Maloka as darkness approaches the surrounding rainforest. The 20 of us find our comfortably cushioned place by sighting colourfully assigned name tags. There lays a mattress for comfort along with a small bucket for catching any vomit (the healing ceremony brings forth releasing of pain by purging it from the body by way of tears, wind and vomit for some) and ashtray as in this ceremony, traditionally grown tobacco can be used in partnership with Ayahuasca. I have dressed in comfortable clothes (stripy thermals) and bring my pillow and blanket along with my journal. My new friend to my left, Maria, sees my stripy outfit and says in a hushed voice “What are you....Dr. Seuss?” she is hilarious.
I relax and recite my intentions and think of the issues and intentions while others begin to enter the room and join the circle. We rest for an hour.
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| Inside the Maloka, the ceremony circle is comfortable and intriguing |
At around 8pm the Shipibo healers enter the Maloka and greet us "Buenos noches". Four elderly female healers (Maestras) and three male healers (Maestros) in detailed traditional dress slowly walk toward and sit in the centre of the circle. My mattress is positioned directly by the door so I see the healers walk in right by me – I am in awe of the spectacle of this traditional ritual. A large bottle of brown liquid is produced. One of the Maestros begins to hum and whistle a tune into the bottle, as if blessing it or perhaps awakening it. As we are a large group of 20 we are divided into 3 groups. Group 1 is asked to come forward – that includes me! We walk up and sit in front of the eldest of the Maestras, a beautiful aged woman that looks like a healing elder from all those books and movies you have seen. With the help of the temple manager she pours a small shot of the Ayahuasca brew for each of us. We take it with respect, think of our intentions, look at each other then shot it. The acidic and astringent taste makes my mouth wince and gut turn; I reason that big healing calls for big medicine. We return to our mattresses. The oil lamps that were dimly lighting the space are blow out. Darkness surrounds. The sounds of frogs and other forest noises surround us and seem to come closer and closer. An hour passes.
9pm (perhaps)
I wonder if the medicine is working. Are other people feeling something? Then in unison the four Maestras begin to sweetly sing the most beautiful song I have ever heard. My mind sways with the tune and I feel my brain begin to pull up slightly. Then to my right I hear the most violent vomiting I have ever heard. One fellow passenger is purging and purging hard. I turn my attention back on myself, with closed eyes I look into my own darkness. Flashes of light appear in far-away places, twin red reptilian eyes appear to be seeking me out, looking at me, noticing me. Then from under closed eyelids I see black and white patterns at first, swirling in geometric, kaleidoscope formations blossoming into colourful, fantasy shapes and living things, like an ever changing evolving multi-dimensional painting of everything. All the healers are singing now, their chanting, melodic, beautiful songs filling the air and pulsating into my being. The images continue to change and evolve revealing glimpses of other lands, beautiful states of being and exquisite architecture. There are animals and people and many living flowers and plants all interchanging. I breathe deeply and feel my body come alive as it has never done before. My limbs and organs are all pulsating individually; I seem to understand and sense my entire body. The healing entity appeared to me this night like a vortex of snakes coiling around one another and tunnelling down into a hole to another dimension. It would move around and sometimes bring my head or body with it, swaying like a snake. I have no fear and feel inquisitive and in a state of bliss. In fact, I didn't understand what 'bliss' felt like until now.
I am lying on my stomach with my heavy head in my hands when suddenly there is an enormous presence in front of me. A healer has sat at the head of my mattress and is preparing to sing her Ikaros to me. She breathes in with a raspy breath and I feel my energy grow forth and interconnect with hers in between where we sit. Her song causes the coiling life, the healing, to turn around back on to me and tunnel into my heart – my heart feels joy and love. Down and down and into my left shoulder and then onto both my eyes. I feel like an intelligent surgery is being made on these parts of my body, clicking the cogs of DNA and cells and putting all into place. From this I learn that my injuries are healed from the inside. I open my eyes and see the Maestra sitting upon a small mountain with the animal kingdom and all Earth’s Wisdom was with her. As she finishes the song, she breathes a flower essence onto my hands, infusing the flower essence with the essence of the healing song, so that it remains with me after she leaves. I feel an enormous energy come from my hands, and I understand that profound healing can come from our hands, and all of us can be healers.
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| The healing hands of fellow passenger Myron |
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| Detail from on-site mural by the Dream Travellers collective |
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| Flower water or agua florida - infused by the healers with the essence of the healing song |
I released (purged) my pain through crying and I cried an ocean in the pain
of the grief of the death of my Nan and of the pain of fearing going deeper in
my relationship with my partner. Now I see that the unfinished grief has been
linked to my current anxiety and stagnation. I see visions of bliss with my
partner for many years to come, I see that I love my partner and that the more
I love him the more there is to learn and discover about him.
In my visions, I experience being a mighty Tiger running on mountain top. I
learn that my strength comes from my masculinity and the spirit is balancing my
masculine and feminine sides, my yin and yang – I never knew how important this
is! I can see that to heal physical injury we need to explore and love our pain
rather than fear or hate it (it is so easy to say ‘I hate being in pain!” however
now I understand to not direct any hate to my body). I learn that fear, worry,
anxiety, apprehension (all from the same base of fear) can be dissolved with
love.
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| The visionary work of artist and traditional healer Pablo Amaringo (1938-2009) |
I receive visions of what to do to maintain happiness. I see that the next
best thing to do for Mother Earth is to keep working for Gaia, keep working for
rainforest and earth protection. I see that energy truly flows where attention
goes, so be wise with your glance because it is powerful.
Each of the 7 healers sang to me, each song a journey of discovery and
healing. And then the presence of Ayahuasca slowly retreated back into the
rainforest. We lay and rest.
Smiles and laughter come easily to the lips. The
healers burst into fits of giggles and we are all happy. I wonder back to my
Tambo with bare feet on the sandy path lit up by the full moon. I am connected to the
living forces all around like never before. I rest and wake up to record the
entire journey in my journal. I feel like last night was a fantastic welcome and introduction to the power of this spirit, now, to see what I can learn at tonight's ceremony....
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